I have, however, dime or not, had another day without dizziness. Which makes a week. I notice I am looking at the world differently, thinking, well, I could do this, I could do that. The Phoenix rises from the ashes, does it not? Reinvent the self? Make good on the disasters of the past? Spring. In the step. In the heart.

So?

Well, best not to say. I say too much, do too little. Let's see how it goes. I came very close to buying the car, but held off because of the way I felt, the dizziness, a fog of self doubt. I think I need to buy the car, get the computers online (I've actually redesigned my company web site, something I haven't touched in ten months) and shoot some photographs with or without the studio lights. A good summer's project. The job is probably safe through the end of the year and maybe the economy will change. Who knows? Takes too much time and effort to think about it.

Mr. Amaya has a project lined up he plans to attack over the next year, why not I? Just finish the stuff I've been talking about. Design a small graphic for the left gutter, a box counter, how many boxes have I packed and moved off the living room floor and into storage this day, an evening's PhotoShop project. Better than actually doing any actual packing, you understand. A weight loss chart, only boxes. One a day, two on a weekend. Hup! It's spring. One should be playing music, doing the fandango, optimizing jpeg's. This is California! This is the Internet!

This is insane.

Exactly!