Now, Now
Friday. A step forward, I think. The coughing has eased off, so re-starting the inhaler after a two week hiatus is maybe just that, a re-start, a short term sort of thing that leads to, if not bliss, then, well, better behavior? We'll see. The sun is shining, no clouds really, so the weather people seem right in their sun through the weekend predictions. A good night's sleep, a decent breakfast over the papers, the knee still fucked, but less so from the feel of it. No way I'm going to be running around the city today and the Fire Dancing gig I was asked to attend tomorrow evening in San Francisco is probably no longer possible, but otherwise the world is more wonderful than it was even twenty four hours ago. I'm thinking.
Later. Not a lot of difference in how the knee feels, a walk just before noon duplicating my route by the lake yesterday, the pace slow, slow, but better than a shuffle. The attitude and the clarity are noticeably better, though. Clear difference there.
A session cleaning up the desk in the bedroom, another examination of the bedding, a third examination of the space under the bed, crevices and hidey holes and the area immediately surrounding in an attempt to find the remote clicker that manages the Bose radio that sits on top of a bookcase in a bedroom corner (without result). I know I'm cooking when I expend this kind of energy and it keeps my interest and gives me a nice shot of dopamine when I see what it looks like when I've finished.
Dopamine?
Well, you know. A good feeling. I wouldn't know dopamine from nicotine without a manual.
How do you lose a smaller than a pack of cigarettes remote control for a radio when you never take it anywhere? Problems like these result in a complete dismantling and cleaning of a room, a garage, a house, of course. Spring cleaning, spring fever. Still, being able to change the station while you're in bed is a big deal, how do you lose such a thing in the space of an hour?
A rhetorical question, this happens to everyone, but I'm stuck now, the next step is pulling the bed apart. I've checked the bathroom, the desk (rearranging, cleaning and dusting the desk), the kitchen, anywhere I might have wandered in the middle of the night, clicker in hand, placing it half asleep for safekeeping on this surface or that. Still, energy, clarity, plenty of gas generated useful in flogging here.
Later still. A good day. A short walk, as noted; some futzing around cleaning up the bedroom, as noted; some listening to and reading the news online, now noted; a day like many, except clearer, somehow, feeling better. I must admit I'd have liked to get farther afield, shot some real pictures, “real” in the sense I was more aware and consciously looking to find them, but what the hell, that's what happens when your knee goes south. Kids who have colds and have to stay in bed have similar issues.
But complain less I'd bet.
Now, now.
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