IS VOTING MANDATORY IN YOUR COUNTRY? IF IT'S NOT, SHOULD IT BE?

No and no. Goes to the difference between autocracy and democracy. It really is up to the citizens to make their democracy work, which is, of course, the good news and the bad news both.

WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT INVENTION OF THE TWENTIETH CENTURY?

Coca Cola.

WHAT BOOK INFLUENCED YOU MOST AS AN ADOLESCENT?

On The Road. And Lassie Come Hither.

WHAT RELATIONSHIP IN YOUR LIFE DO YOU MOST REGRET, AND WHY?

Upsets, no regrets

YOU HAVE A GUN, ONE BULLET, AND COMPLETE IMMUNITY -- WHO DO YOU KILL?

Whomever I'm standing over when they catch me red handed. Or is it red faced? No reason to waste a perfectly good get out of jail free card unless you're caught.

DOES THE END EVER JUSTIFY THE MEANS?

For moi, perhaps. I'm not so sure about you.

HENRY KISSINGER OR CHOU EN-LAI?

Neither one has ever sent me a Christmas card. Not once. Ever.

MARILYN MONROE OR AUDREY HEPBURN?

Marilyn in the morning, Marilyn in the night, Marilyn in the hot wet sultry afternoons. Lunch with Audrey if Marilyn's busy. (Yes, yes. Typical male response. Just remember one thing: Marilyn married Arthur Miller, an old fart from the day he was born, who wrote plays. Child woman, fantasy woman, classic ill-fated woman slated for destruction. The child man in every man has a place in his heart for you.)

SINCLAIR OR SHERIDAN?

Upton was a little preachy, but what did Sheridan write?

NAME YOUR FAVORITE WEBSITE.

BimbosOnParade.org. They send me emails with free offers attached.

WOULD YOU APPEAR ON THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW IF YOU WERE INVITED TO?

Depends on what I was selling.

WHO WOULD MAKE THE IDEAL MC FOR 'WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE'?

Moi.

WHAT WAS THE FIRST RECORD, CASSETTE, OR CD YOU BOUGHT?

It would have been a 45 and it would have been, I don't know, Whispering Bells by the Dell Vikings.

MOVIE/TELEVISION CHARACTER YOU FEEL MOST EMPATHY FOR:

I draw a blank.

WHOSE CELEBRITY DO YOU FIND MOST BAFFLING?

I draw another blank.

DO YOU THINK UNUSUAL NAMES ARE COOL AND CREATIVE, OR A SIGN OF DERANGED PARENTS?

Deranged parents without family ties or family history trying to live their lives through their children. And that's just for starters.

NAME THE PLACE THAT MOST FASCINATES YOU, IN OR OUT OF THIS WORLD, THAT YOU'LL PROBABLY NEVER VISIT FOR FEAR IT'LL DISAPPOINT YOU:

Woody Creek, CO.

IF YOU COULD HIRE SOMETHING TO DO SOMETHING FOR YOU, SOMETHING YOU HATE DOING BUT HAVE TO DO, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

The laundry, dear lord, the laundry. And maybe making the bed.

COMPLETE THIS SENTENCE: "YOU COULD NOT PAY ME ENOUGH TO ..."

"eat Cauliflower."

IF YOU HAD TO CHANGE YOUR NAME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE IT TO?

Joe North Dakota, Idaho having too many potato connotations.

IF YOU COULD CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOURSELF, PHYSICAL OR OTHERWISE, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

Not being born a philanthropist.

WHERE/HOW DO YOU WANT TO DIE?

At home, in bed, making babies with the newly elected Fourth Millenium Princess. Something quick, easy and not too messy leaving both of us with a smile on our face.

WHAT VEHICLE -- CAR, PLANE, BOAT, ETC. -- WOULD YOU LIKE TO DRIVE REGULARLY?

Rosebud.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE SO DRUNK YOU GOT SICK?

Sometime during those years I can no longer remember between my freshman year in college and yesterday morning around ten.

WHICH IS MORE THRILLING, SPEED OR HEIGHT?

For thrilling versus frightening, I'll take speed, as in velocity, every time.

IF YOU COULD MORPH BACK AND FORTH INTO AN ANIMAL FORM, WHAT ANIMAL WOULD YOU BE?

I've grown accustomed over these years to the traditional werewolf form, although I've occasionally and somewhat wistfully wondered what it would be like to be an albatross.

IF YOU COULD WALK INTO ANY PAINTING AND EMERGE IN THE WORLD IT PORTRAYS, WHICH PAINTING WOULD YOU CHOOSE?

Renoir - Moulin De La Galette-Louvre, Paris

A TIME MACHINE WILL TAKE YOU ANYWHERE YOU WANT TO GO FOR ONE DAY. WHERE DO YOU GO?

That book repository overlooking Dealey Plaza in Dallas, Texas in the early morning hours of November 22, 1963. Either that or a phone booth in Washington D.C. on November 21st with a lot of quarters and a phone number for the Secret Service.

YOU CAN ONLY WEAR ONE SET OF CLOTHES, WHICH WILL BE MIRACULOUSLY CLEANED AND REPAIRED EVERY MORNING WHEN YOU WAKE UP -- WHAT WILL THEY BE?

T-shirt, jeans, shorts, socks and a decent pair of tennis shoes in a place where it is never cold enough to require a jacket.

WHAT IS THE PERFECT MEAL?

A king size bed with fresh cool white fitted sheets, a jug of wine and thou.

SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU:

She's perceptive in the ways that count.