I think I'm looking for some purpose or vision to pursue, something to engage my interest over the next, well, fifteen years. I figure I've got a good chance to be healthy and fit for that long. Anything else is extra, fate dealing a different hand than I expect.

I don't mean this in a negative sense. I think part of life is reinventing yourself every now and then to keep the batteries charged and some interest and focus on the day to day events. I feel pretty good and in another six months I'll have finished some things that have been road blocks for me in the past. Six months goes by pretty quickly these days so I'm thinking about what I need to do next.

Is this journal a part of that? Yeah, I think. A way to break the routine (and create a new one), put things on paper and then look at them and think: What's he nattering on about, this Sole Prop? If he's got himself in a box, where's the door and how does he get out? I've been much too passive in my past. I wish I'd had the imagination and the gumption to do this kind of thinking thirty years ago. Easy to say "too bad" and call it a day. Day's not over yet.

I'm not sure what caused these particular thoughts this evening although I'm not certain they haven't dominated my thoughts in one form or another for a long time. Maybe I'm just feeling clear (or muddled) headed and this is what came out. Strange life, my friends, stranger still to even be alive. Lets not forget that.