A doctor's appointment in Palo Alto tomorrow, a checkup with the prostate surgeon. I've not been to see him in nine months, haven't had a PST test to see if the cancer's come back. Probably not a good idea to skip these visits. Then again I'm a year late in getting together with my dermatologist. To check for what? Cancer, what else? Self destructive moles. I don't think I have any self destructive moles, but you never know. Another task on my never ending list. Sounds depressing, doesn't it, but my family history doesn't really run to cancer. Tends more to strokes and middle of the night heart attacks, go to sleep, don't wake up. The men, anyway. The women live forever. Best that some of us live forever.

Introspective, aren't we?

Just tired. I picked up a bottle of sake after work and I have the first small cup cooling now in front of me on the desk. Perhaps it will cheer me up. I've continued to watch my Netflix movies over the weekend, two Japanese flicks: Gozu and Audition. Gozu was a little weird, what with the Yakuza everyone had been looking for grabbing the protagonist's dick in the middle of coitus with the young weird, but attractive woman, and emerging from her womb full grown so that the three of them could then walk together into the sunset. I suppose I should have watched it a second time to, um, you know, extract additional significance, but I dropped it in the mail this morning and said the hell with it, send the next movie please.

Audition was equally bizarre, but much more interesting. The man proposes to the woman and the woman accepts the proposal and you think Eraserhead. Not a knock off of Eraserhead, you understand, but an original riff that makes you think “Eraserhead” and that is saying something.

Do you think anyone out there knows what you're talking about? Eraserhead?

Anyone into movies knows Eraserhead. They added Eraserhead and Schindler's List amongst others to the National Film Registry last month. David Lynch's take on the institution of marriage.

And is that your take on the institution of marriage?

No. Many things are true about marriage, some of them less than wonderful, but overall it seems to be a workable adventure. The idea, at least, can seem wonderful. This from a life long bachelor.

So why write this string of what seem to be downers?

Downers? Moi? Maybe. I'm not really feeling down, “downer” not being the same thing as “tired”. People say, “hey, you look chipper!” when I run into them at the office - unoriginal bastards - but I think they're sincere: “Lookin' good!” The project I'll be managing is an interesting project and it will last a good six months before it's finished, long enough to give me options should they let me go when it's over. I can rationalize feeling good about it. Good is good. Here in Oakland.