Before I Sleep
Wednesday. A trip over to SF on BART to attend a morning presentation on where Microsoft Windows is going over the next five years in all of its nefarious permutations, lunch with three fellow workers at a nearby favorite Cambodian restaurant (a glass of red with a tasty chicken mushroom concoction) and home by 5:00. No complaints. A rare admission, perhaps: “no complaints”. Maybe I should roll it around the brain, get a sense of it, bounce it again on my tongue: “no complaints”. Interesting admission, this early in the week.
Do you see yourself a complainer?
Not out there in the real world, the company being the exception, of course. Today in corporate America complaining is like talking football. But here in this journal? I'd go back and read a bunch of entries if I weren't fairly certain what I'd find. Hi, ho; you learn what you're about after a while, when you keep a journal, here in Oakland. This year is still the year to turn the corner - hey, maybe I turned it today - and spring is on the way and I'm out of words to say this Wednesday in the middle of the week.
Thursday. No rain, really, although it was blowing pretty hard as I was leaving work, the clouds looking ominous. A good dinner last night at Scott's with MSM, who's scored an excellent gig after many months in this miserable job market. Things have evidently turned a corner with the beginning of the new year as I hear similar stories from friends in IT. This is good. I can more easily kid myself I'd be successful should I find myself out on the street, which, for the first time in a long time, I no longer believe is about to happen.
Dangerous to think such things, let alone write them down.
Could be the brain pan is finally flaking out - you lose your sense of reality well before you notice the other symptoms: the dirty shirts, the runny nose, shoe laces that won't behave. Are they your shoes, these shoes? At some point you cease to know.
Maybe you need a longer break.
Maybe I need another break, maybe I don't. Maybe I need a drink before I sleep.
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