It's not all that gross. I don't see anything untold in stranger's eyes when I'm introduced. Small children don't run away and hug their mother's leg or hide under the couch. Well, there was the little guy at the party, but I slapped him around good when they weren't looking and he straightened right up. They say you shouldn't punch them out when they're only one or two as it warps their little worlds and makes them nervous around adults, but that's an old wives tale. Get's there attention, it does. Makes them focus on what's really important in the scheme of life, which around here is my piece and quiet, go play in the traffic kid with the nice trucks.

I thought of dropping the "smack around the little kid" routine above, but then thought better of it. Lots of little kids getting smacked around by their parents in our world, we live in a culture that doesn't seem to like kids very much, but there's also this political correctness business that gives me the creeps. I'm old and I'm tired and I'm probably too politically correct, but I don't like to admit it out loud and certainly not in print.