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I Was Dry Curious. Have you ever prepared for a party and then, for whatever 
reason, good or bad, not had anyone come? There was a little of that
today. I didn't do all that much preparation for today's open house, but
I did clean it up, did the dishes, bought some vacuum bags and did the
rugs, made the bed, cleared some of the books off the floor. The
average person seeing it would say, well, "harumpf!, what is this?",
but my reaction was my my, how nice and, yes, even inviting.
And now I learn, although there is an open house, it is for the front
house only and no one will be coming through my apartment.
Two thoughts: Why should I care what anyone thinks about my housekeeping? I don't ask this in a sense of indignation, but in a "curious that anyone should care" sense, certainly curious that I should care myself. Things are messy. The bed isn't made. There are dishes to be done. Right. The sun rises in the morning too. The second thought is this place looks somewhat more, um, well inviting don't you think? All the glassware up in the cupboard. All the books off the bed, the comforter smooth and flat from edge to edge. Well, yes, and that has nothing to do with how the outside world perceives it now does it, self? Maybe you'd enjoy a little less clutter in your life, self. Maybe self could get used to this: civilized living in one's own home. (We'll cut this off, thank you. Self and I have had this conversation before.) As a writer I'm dry right now. It was a good day, for all that, and I took time to diddle around. Although the sun was out, there were dark patches of thunder like clouds that seemed to keep people home and off the streets. I drove over to the BART station area near University Avenue in Berkeley and wandered around shooting a picture or two. I thought of going to a movie, but I was too early and none of them seemed to interest me a lot. (None of them? Yeah, weird.) Behind me, the Academy Awards are playing on television and I'm thinking, if I turned it off would I think more clearly, would something creep out from under the noise and begin to take form? It isn't that the Academy Awards or anything else on television is bad, its just that it isn't very good and it seems to always be on, engaging the mind just enough to throw it off, curtain thoughts that might lead to something more interesting, something that might be written down. When my car was stolen, what, a year ago, I got the car back, but they stole the radio. When I'd get in the car, I'd turn on the radio. Automatic. Wherever I'd go, I'd have the radio playing, a kind of background blanket for the mind. Without the radio I think about things a little more. Think out little stories, little bits and riffs. Kind of fun. I sing too, but I don't inflict this on regular people, of course, just on myself when I'm alone. Do they do similar things, radio and television? A kind of dumbing down, but not so much you notice? Is that good? I don't know, it could be kind of restful, a needed break from all those hours we spend at the office thinking up a storm. Then again, well, I told you I was dry. |
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