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October 20th, 2000
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Change Again
Although the sun broke through late this afternoon, for the first time this season the day felt like winter. You don't remember winter, you feel winter, you experience winter, and no matter how many winters you've experienced, you experience it for the first time every time it comes again. Something deep down stirs in recognition. Today was a little slap in the face head's up I'm coming. From reading other journals I know that it's cold in much of the world (with the possible exception of the Antipodeans) and fall weather here on the California coast is a summer day by comparison, but still, it was dark and overcast and I felt that soft cool invitation to depression. So I said fuck it and went home early. No reason to just cave in. Tomorrow the company picnic and a wedding party that will last past midnight so we'll worry about winter on Monday when the temperature is projected to plunge to a miserable 55 degrees fahrenheit.
My Icelandic and Danish ancestors are turning in their graves, 55 degrees and he's complaining, but I ask in reply: "what put you in those graves in the first place?" (Probably an axe whacked through their ice encrusted heads, if I know my kin from watching public television, or capsized while paddling a long boat through the North Atlantic on their way to Ireland.)
It is now Saturday morning. I've just returned from breakfast and now I must finish packing my cameras,
print out the map to the picnic and to the house in Oakland where the wedding party will be held. Part of me fights these things like a cranky little kid, but once I'm out the door and on the road, all is well. We'll see how it goes. Probably just the morning and whatever energy tends to be around before nine, but I think I'll go in to the office tomorrow and finish two projects that needed finishing yesterday and then maybe think about what I can do at work that will lead to another more interesting job, either here or outside the company. Maybe it's just the crisp morning weather, but I'd like to join the game again if only for one last ride. I've talked about this and thought about this, it brings back memories of earlier days when I had absolutely no life other than my work, but I think for the next six months or so I'm going to go into full tilt boogie mode, but this time on my own terms with my own agenda. It's morning, you understand. Maybe it's just the coffee speaking. All this can change again before dinner.
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The banner photograph was taken in Oakland at a Chinese community street fair and the second photograph at a late afternoon concert at the Oakland City. The quotation is by Groucho Marx.
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