Next Life
Things seem to be coming together. I found a truck. I put off calling the local truck rental agencies until yesterday, three days before the move, this, knowing how hard it had been to find a truck on short notice the last time I looked. I'm not sure why. The inexperience of youth hasn't been available as an excuse for thirty five years. Some would say forty five. What does this mean in the cosmic scheme of things? Not much. Plenty of dumb fucks in the world. Time to notice when it comes to moving (and a couple of other things I'd just as soon skip) that I'm on the dumb fuck list. And what does that mean?
Not much. I've had my evening bourbon and water. Helps me gain perspective.
I was thinking about this site and where it could/should be going. One of those epiphanies that come while you're walking back to the office with friends after a big lunch at a Dim Sum restaurant. After you've eaten a bunch of stuff that's made out of things that make a cardiologist wince and cooked in ways that drive up the price of health insurance. One of those lunches you need to have from time to time to remind yourself that not everything in life is Cheerios and skim milk, although I'm fond of Cheerios and skim milk. But then you know that. (The need to blow it out every now and then at lunch. I don't know about your Cheerios relationship.) A good lunch and my thought - this started out with an epiphany, remember - of where all this might be going.
My epiphany was I needed a purpose. Some purpose other than a place to practice my writing and post photographs. The new photography site has ground to a halt. The ISP arrangement I'd made earlier seems to be on hold - a more complicated story than needs to be told - and, although I've designed some pages, I haven't made much progress. Doesn't mean I won't in the future, I do things a bit at a time. Life is too short to rush down blind alleys and I've gotten better at examining my motives and not worrying when everything slips into idle. Something will come. A site built around a political proposition, maybe? Something dedicated to Kodak box cameras built after the war? Any war? An issue oriented site? Something to get my blood up? This photography site. Maybe it just needs to be a somewhat different photography site. Pictures of kitty cats. Wild pictures of Wildebeests looking for fun in the sun on a snow covered tundra. Pictures of pictures of pictures.... It'll work out. After the move. Next month. Next year. Next life.
Back to practice. What, again, was wrong with practice?
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