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An Oakland cafe

October 21st, 2003

And Tap
Interesting. The doctor basically said (on the vertigo, the aching head and the sore muscle thing that's been going on now for over a year) that at least it probably isn't something that's going to kill me, since it hasn't killed me yet. I've had that said before. The internal bleeding that lasted a decade: "Can't be cancer, my son, or you'd be gone.". Doctor's are such cutups. It's comforting, actually, "not dead yet". Has a solid feel about it like the sound you get when you thump a leather chair. On the leg going numb or aching or whatever it's been doing, well, it isn't any of those things they warn you about (he said). Sciatica, he thought, nothing too serious. Keep getting your exercise and persevere. OK. That's good. I will.

The anti-depressant? Well, I took the smallest dose of something called Zoloft this morning. They say it will take a month or two to see a difference. I was thinking about that this morning as I noticed my knee jumping up and down. You know that thing you get or see in others? The foot tapping as they sit? The sign of a case of nerves? Haven't done that in decades. I'm doing it now. The Zoloft? The pharmacist mentioned you can take it in the morning or take it at night. Some people go off like a rocket when they take it in the morning, so they opt for bedtime and I am sitting here thinking I'm making more of this tapping foot business than is strictly necessary one day into the experiment. So I'll lay back. And tap.

My weekend breakfast in the morning cafe, taken with the F3 and a 50mm f 1.2 manual Nikon lens.