Still In The Dish
I have no idea how the sleep study went. The technician was clear she wasn't allowed to give me the results, they'd come when I met with the doctor later this month. The American medical machine in action: They tell you what they want when they want and you'd better keep your mouth and your manners.
The technician asked me (essentially) as she was wiring me up if I were married or living with someone (who could tell me if I was snoring) and I told her I wasn't, she responding somewhat bitterly that I was very sensible. She, a young woman in her late twenties, attractive, clearly competent, said she was single and celibate by choice. I didn't ask if this was a religious issue or something she'd decided on her own (fill in the ugly assumptions).
It seemed a lot of bitterness for someone so young, but who knows, this can be a cruel world.
Maybe I caught her on a bad day, in the middle of a divorce, at the end of a relationship, but the underlying anger in her voice made me think this had been her reality for a long time. The only thing I might have said on the subject, had she asked, had I thought to pontificate, was that over time when I looked back on my own life for the reasons I was single, I realized I'd been the one to choose unstable relationships, choose relationships that wouldn't last, running at the first hint of a one that could, always, however, choosing women of good heart who treated me as best they were able. No bitterness. More than a little amusement. I can't tell you why I did that, I'm not sure it matters, I can only tell you that's what I did and it didn't have anything to do with women in general or any one woman in particular. This lady was young and bitter and, I assume, for good reason, although life doesn't award its gold stars for having good reasons.
I wonder if my "more than a little amusement" covers up something I'm not admitting? I'll have to think about that (but not today, there's an Italian Festival going on in Jack London Square). Perhaps I have more anger inside than I know and this dribble on forever nice guy stuff is just a mask, not only for the world but for myself. I doubt it. You don't have to be angry to be self destructive. You can buy the kit (Self Destruct in Four Hours: No assembly required.) for $4.95 at any authorized outlet.
Got out of the hospital around 6:00 and drove over to Safeway to do the week's shopping. Bought some NATURE'S MIRACLE in the large economy size to tackle the rugs. Wuss seems better. I tried microwaving the wonder diet smells good tastes awful cat food this morning at the vet's suggestion and this seemed to trick him into taking a couple of bites, but the remainder is still in the dish. Wuss is looking thinner.
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