Friday. OK, another note on the aching upper palate-teeth business: it's much better this morning to the point, as I was leaving my morning restaurant after breakfast, I was thinking how good I felt, how well the world looked at just before nine and how, given all this good stuff, I had no excuse not to turn the day into something more interesting than my earlier, more miserable efforts. Then I snapped out of it. What do I mean, turn the day into what? A good morning and you're carping about the coming afternoon? Still, another note on the aching sinus-head business and the mornings: some days are good, some days are less good, but all days are days with potential and “aching” is better than “terminating” any old way you look. So there. Here in Oakland.
It's been two weeks since I ordered that camera from B&H. They said two weeks and it will be two weeks on Sunday so I assume it's shipping reasonably soon. Unless they haven't received them from Nikon. Well, they have my money, they'll (I'm sure) do their best and I, sitting here, will continue to wait and wonder while buyer's remorse creeps in closer, licking its lips. Do I need a new camera? No. No way. Even the older ones I have sitting about are better in most ways than my ability to put them to use. I'm spoiled and more than a little stupid in a world where many have to scramble to eat. Hell, in a city where people line up at food kitchens and no small number live on the streets. (That sounds about as fatuous as you can make it, does it not? Throw in a little P.C. to show humility in this camera business, done with what I hope is at least a flicker if not a smirk of awareness, an acknowledgement of one's own crap?)
Remember the exhortations of our leaders to go out and spend.
Don't go there. “The exhortations of our leaders” give me gas. The sinus-head thing is bad enough. A silly purchase, yes, I'll cop to that, but no need to add gas.
Later. Rain. Coming down. I'd heard there was a big storm hitting Canada that extended way down through Washington and Oregon, but only brushing the California border. Maybe this is its sister, tagging along below and California bound. Doesn't matter, I guess, putting on jacket and hat, picking up a camera and sun glasses, stopping dead at the door. Not a day for a walk.
Which relieves you of the responsibility to get out for a walk so now you can do something that actually interests you indoors?
An element of truth in that. Shoot a portrait or two? I backed up my various web sites yesterday, good for me. There's plenty of other computer related stuff. I've had my fill of news for the day, much too depressing to seek out more (except I will). None of these suggestions seem to titillate. And you wonder why I perk up when Minerva says all will soon be sweetness and light?
I know you don't believe in that, they know you don't believe in that, but you do write about it a lot. You are discussing astrology after all.
Again, if whomever says it's good, smile and agree. If whomever says it's bad, turn the page, and, if it's more often bad than not, get another astrologer, there are plenty about. Twenty-ten the Belle of the Ball? Why not? I'm up for a good November and December too, rain today or not. (Hup! Hup! Hup!)
Hup, hup, hup yourself.
Later still. Some re-engagement of the brain, maybe, a few portraits, the lighting uneven, the color uneven, but I did manage an alert expression for the camera. I haven't PhotoShopped any of the wrinkles or spots, but I thought about it. The hat, glasses and coat I'd donned to go on my walk until I stuck my nose out and discovered rain. I bought the hat in Napa twenty years ago and I've worn it as many times since, twenty times in twenty years. Some days it seems right, most days it doesn't; some days I have the courage (the mindless disregard for looking the cloned idiot) to wear it and mostly I don't. What does that mean? My willingness to wear it or not? My silly sensitivities? Childish to wear? Childish to not? I tell you, bringing up Robert has been a full time project for everyone involved.